AhavahOlam

My time with Judaism is coming to a close.  It was a ride that apparently wasted my life, which did not matter to those who consider themselves Jewish.  I am not an idiot, I studied the East then the West, and I still chose Judaism as mine (and only mine), I did not not want to share what I had found, I was a young fool then.  Then as I returned to the Temple(s) and churches I realized how little things had changed.  So much fear for the stranger, there was no room for love, unless that stranger had the same thoughts.  The idea of Midrash was completely lost to the Jews I had met.  Only in Chabad did they understand, but I was told that my id

Who will inherit land?  Who owns the land?  Who can own the land?  What of the neighbors?  Can they all be removed or enslaved?  Are they better to be sent to other tasks, dying for causes they are not allow to know about. Israel doesn't like it can last another year.  Already the high holidays are approaching, and the yeah 5777 is coming to an end, this will not, nor shall there ever be a final year for those who wish to take the burden, but the count can only be done by those who keep the count. If any others shall be made to count, then the land will be lost, for it was given away for power. If any others shall be made to shed blood so

I don't know what I'm supposed to be thinking or, or feeling while i'm in a religious service.  Others have their problems, as I do, and sometimes those are thought about, but the personal issues are supposed to be ignored, not in awe and fear like I'm in the cult of some tyrant, but the allowance of a space, a moment in time, for sanctuary.  It wasn't until the modern age where churches decided that their rituals would be based upon on way, and it could not be changed, nor could any thought be put into the matter of why events happen.  That would be questioning God. Its actually about questioning ones self.  Who else needs to answer ones ow